thelma magazine's blog

Today I’m wearing an over-sized tshirt, a skirt, 90 denier tights, sensible flat black shoes, and a coat that basically covers up everything neck down to my knees. 

It’s not exactly a ‘tarty’ outfit. The only part of my skin that you can see is my face, and my hands, but even those were covered by gloves until I took them off to type this blog.

What I’m wearing is not the point. It is never the point. What a lady, or man, wears is nobody’s business other than their own. People wear what they wear because it fits in with their own sense of self; what they think looks or feels good, what they believe in, what they like. 

Half an hour ago, I got off of a train at a suburban Melbourne station to go to my office. I had been reading a book, whilst listening to my iPod, so I think between my preoccupation with those two activities, it would have been fairly hard to offend anyone during my train ride. 

As I got off the train, a fellow passenger shouted a joke about me, I turned and simply raised an eyebrow. He then shouted (Mum, if you’re reading, forgive me for the language here) ‘oh get a life you sad bitch, it was a joke you sad slut’. I kept walking. The man continued to hurl profanities in my direction. There were a stack of other people around, they didn’t react. As the abuse continued, I raised my middle finger above my shoulder, towards the man and kept walking in the opposite direction. Perhaps I shouldn’t have reacted at all, but when provoked for no reason I get a little angry. The man followed after me and again called me a slut. He then told me to ‘eat a cock’. Eloquent fellow, no? 

I wasn’t at all physically hurt during this encounter. But it made me think, what made this man think he had the right to throw such names and comments at me in a public place, without any provocation? I hadn’t even made eye contact with anyone on the train, I wasn’t wearing anything ‘slutty’, and I definitely did not offer sex to anyone on that train. What made him single me out as a victim for his verbal assault?

I didn’t deserve to be called a slut on a Friday afternoon, quite frankly it has put me into a little bit of a bad mood. If a girl is wearing a miniskirt and a bra on the train, she doesn’t deserve to be called a slut either. You might not like the way she is dressed, but her outfit is none of your business, maybe that miniskirt made her feel good about herself.

There’s a protest event called ‘Slutwalk’ happening all over the world. It started in Toronto on January 24th, 2011 when “a representative of the Toronto Police gave shocking insight into the Force’s view of sexual assault by stating: ‘women should avoid dressing like sluts in order not to be victimized’”.

People in numerous cities have since joined the protest, because they too feel that it doesn’t matter how you dress, a stranger doesn’t have the right to hurt you, make you feel scared or threatened, or bad about yourself.

It is as simple as that. No matter how much flesh a person is baring, that person does not deserve to be called a slut - and they certainly do not deserve to be raped or abused. 

Sexual empowerment is not about what a person wears. Sexual empowerment is about feeling good about yourself, feeling confident to live your life in what ever way you choose to live it, and feeling safe.

Being safe doesn’t have anything to do with being a woman or not, or feminism, or anything other than the simple concept of being safe. Being called a slut, no matter how strong you are, is never nice. That is why the event is called what it is. ‘Slut’ is an awful, derogatory word. It’s also one that is used too frequently and carelessly, and that’s why the protest aims to dilute the power of the word. If we say it enough, maybe it’ll lose its power and meaning. Maybe people will stop using it as an insult for others.

No matter what your choices in personal style and taste are, no matter what you wear when you go out at night, or to school, work, the shopping centre or your grandmother’s house - you deserve to feel safe, and confident.

And that is why Thelma Magazine supports ‘Slutwalk’ and will be attending the protest in Melbourne tomorrow at 1pm outside of the state library.

If you’re interested to find out more, and what to defend your rights, or the rights of your daughter, son, sister, brother, best friend, or person you’ve never met before to be able to ride a train to work without being abused, there are events happening all around Australia. You can find details of protests happening in each city by clicking here.

Be nice to each other,

Kealey.